Charlotte

i think there are a few things that will freak an NYC apartment dwelling person.
and most likely- bugs is on the top of the list

weeks ago i had a bad bag of flour- a case of the flour mites.
dumped it and bought a new bag
and i thought problem solved

um kinda.
i was cooking friday and noticed more of the suckers.
so late friday night i decided to clean the pantry- get everything wiped down, clorox the shelves and dump anything
and there was a lot to dump.

and it was gross. good thing i decided to clean out the pantry
should be done more often!

but i feel great having this clean place.
now if only i could paint the walls with such ease

i realize now that my last post was during a major heat wave, oncoming sickness- and just general crazy.
i should delete out of self preservation, but should keep it to remind myself what not to become
thus far it's been working


so now i'm sick. had the sore throat, and now the drippyness and hoarse voice
change in weather i guess
in order to get my mom to shut up i said i would get a flu shot

- i hate hate hate shots/needles
-it IS only one strain of flu
- i have sick days- bring it.


so its early
i've had coffeee, lunch to bring to work
and i'm SO FUCKING TIRED

not the worst it's ever been- not peel eyelids open with a spoon and prop with matches...but it could be that.

ramble ramble babble babble

and it's not this post...
it's a bit more meta

i've noticed that when i go out and go to stores and such i get chatty- not in the cool way, but in the crazy way.
like that person who says shit and you want them to leave you alone.
fuck fuck fuck.
i hate that person. they talk too much and are annoying.

i find that i have urges to suddenly talk to ppl- randomly.

and i hate those too!
omg i hate myself.


ARG

i also looked at the CNN article of the types of facebookers- i didn't fit any profile
phew
do i realize that i sound nutty as i type this? oh yes

so from now one, leave work chipper at work and be sane at all times. resist talk
talking to cat is fine. just as long as i don't expect an answer.

wtf is wrong with me? is it the heat? humidity? the bloat?


I HATE YOU SUMMER


major plus +++ soda club came

yesterday i shook out my purse out over a trash can due to some trail mix spillage
and all yesterday i couldn't figure out where my phone was

now the answer right now is pretty self explanatory
however, it took me 10 minutes of searching the apartment, checking skirts, almost calling filene's to see if anyone turned in a phone- to finally check the trash.
and yep.
in the trash.

i know i can be really absentminded... but DAMN where was i?!

at least it wasn't stolen or left behind somewhere.

clearly i fell off the food journal wagon. oops.
as a result- due to weather and stress, i feel like a beached whale

work is fine- besides the crazy publisher rep who was so clearly psycho with a dash of psychotic breaking with reality in my face-
things have been good.

i got a cake ball order for this guy's party! monies!!!
made an ice cream cake
started going to a farmer's market
apartment will become a youth hostel in 2 weeks...
2 engagements
no deaths nor births

and the smell of clorox has coated the bathroom.
and yet i've got summer memories of family "vacations" , hotels and bleach...

years and years ago when i started dating Mordy- there was this guy. this guy and i had only ever bumped into each other and knew each other through friends

but i could have sworn he always wanted to come up and say something- ya know- that look in the eyes: i need to but i can't but i must but i won't.
and when i was with mordy and i saw him from afar, he looked pained, slightly wounded.

i think i saw him on the subway, with a girl who was covering her hair.
good for him and finally! ran through my head.



and the silly thing of it all- i have never known his name.

6 medium globe zucchini
1 package of ground meat- turkey or beef
1 onion
2 cloves garlic
half a carton of sliced mushroom
thyme
israeli couscous


start couscous


slice tops off
scoop out insides and save lids and innards
sautee up garlic and onion
add in seasoning - salt/pepper/ thyme
add in mushrooms
squeeze liquid from zucchini and add to pan
let cook for about 2 minutes
add in meat and brown

add in cooked couscous
stuff squash and bake at 400



next time- add in a tomato sauce and cover.

talk about not getting to work out....
i tried. honest. ok that's a lie
i started the dvd and couldn't really handle the knee stuff- like bouncing on one knee and then lunging. ows

work was fine. scored major awesome reader copies of some things

working on reading up on Sterling- fall internships available! i figure any leg up at this point is worth it

and why is there something comforting about the smell of clean animal? clean and sleepy!

food journal....
fails

meh.
i just can't be bothered to do something so inane as writing my eated foods everyday. i know it works but i hate doing it
ate banana pop- had 2 today
pizza slice, cheese, broc and mushroom
biscotti
ice coffee, 1 percent lowfat milk
chicken
couscous
bread and cheese


yeah ok i get it...ate too much in one day, but it was a long day!!!!!!!!!!!

anyways.....life is ok. i'm gonna apply for this internship at sterling
i think i'm above it...but i think these days something like an internship is more important than ever before
so mordy will help me out with that

mordy fucked himself over
he's taking this early class- at 9am down at nyu and with his crohns tummy and all, i'm a little worried for him
while he's at school i'm gonna do this CRUNCH video i found on netflix.
i is FAT and i'm so tired of it

i would like to rent a bike and figure out a route to work... but i am so chicken shit to bike in the city.


want more cherries from fairway.
want bike!!!

i realize that shows like 20/20 and other big networks have their "missing person" "unsolved mysteries" shows and i'm sure they draw big viewership. not to mention shows like law and order...

a couple of months ago the author of the book After Etan : The Missing Child Case That Held America Captive, came in and slyly inquired where her book was.
and it eventually hit the front table and sold very well.
i don't have a problem with a book selling well.
the fascination of the story bothers me, more so, the kind of person that dedicates a chunk of their life researching what must be agony, pain, anger, sadness and frustration on the victim's family's life.

basically i'm saying that the author and other's like her, are nutty as nutella.

and dammit, i can't turn off law and order right now.

weekends suck...i mean they're great!!!
maybe it's b/c i've grown up with the mentality that Shabbat is a time to relax- and that means you too foods.

( weekend foods! )

not doing so great, but not so bad. could be better.

things are good
going away next weekend to boston to visit!!!
excited. i need a break. i know it's a 5 hr trek but at least i can sleep on teh bus or something

we got rock band!!!!!! and we're having an amazing time playing together and with friends
otherwise
hot sweaty and humid. fuck you new york city.  and oh yeah. thanks for the fare hike. asshole.

semi good food day
( foods )

today was actually an interesting day- i hiked down to the farmer's market on 175th and broadway
i was a little afraid that the market would be full of yucca and plantains. nope.
plenty of in seasons staples- onions/carrots and the such
i scooped up fresh mint, rainbow chard, rhubarb, and sugar peas.
and on the way home from work i picked up strawberries and bananas

( foods eated )

( foods eated )

tomorrow is market day!!

so far.
ice coffee- no sugar, teaspoon cream


**found recipe for anise almond biscotti. must make.

( foods ) 

( foods  )( foods )

questioning my knowledge as i tell you something as a response to your question- is a faux pas. how do i know? b/c i'm fucking telling you i know.
it was like i was having a conversation with a two year old.

anyways- the next part is under a cut b/c it'll be boring and only useful to me-
i am starting to chronicle what i eat

that's right - a food journal-
ever poke at yourself and think- i could have sworn that wasn't there a day or so ago.
yeah well- it's more than just a poke, it's hit prod like status and I HATE IT.

( food eated! )

i talked to my mom in IL and it is stormin'!

two projects going on and finally working on
-writing sample for a ghostwriting gig.
-graphic poem collection- think illustrated poems, now to write more poems that don't suck


today is domestic day
cook
bake
clean
laundry
cat food?! <---and litter

idk what's going on at store- restlessness? frustration? a deep void of uplifting moral?
so how does anyone keep doing their job
i think i do the shelving and phones out of sheer boredom and occasionally i get to read.


so today is strawberry soup day.
and challahs
and chocolate cake from allrecipes.com
hopefully i'll get everything finished before it starts pouring

yeah....
i walked into the kitchen to get things set up and best i could do was munch down on the last of the vanilla granola from fairway.
do i have a procrastination problem or an eating problem?


want to make (banana) muffins for dudes at work. last night was blah and i think a pick up would be good.